Workout for the Lazy Bride

There is nothing more strikingly beautiful than a summer bride.   Imagine your wedding day, blessed with perfect weather, 78 degrees with a slight breeze.   The most important people in your life are dressed in their very best as a show of respect to you on your day.   A special carpet is rolled out and covered in flower petals by the cutest little girl in your family for you, and only you, to make your way to the altar.   This is one time in your life when it is all about you.   Everyone anticipates your first appearance in your wedding gown like the first snowfall in winter, the first raindrop in spring, or the season opening episode of "Lost."

Finally, the first chords of the "Wedding March" fill the chapel, calling everyone to attention.   The guests rise to their feet and face the large double doors as they are flung open to reveal an angel resplendent in white.   You are, simply put, a vision.   A statuesque silhouette embraced in the light of the brilliant summer sun ... assuming of course your big ass doesn't block out the sun!   How did this happen?   You knew you were getting married.   Hell, you've envisioned this day since you were thirteen years old.   And you still managed to get here carrying a little extra baggage, and I don't mean Louis Vuitton.

Luckily for you, this is a hypothetical situation.   Your wedding day is a couple of months away.   And you need to drop a few pounds to complete the vision. Or maybe it's just to make sure you can fit comfortably in that extremely expensive, one use only wedding dress you've been agonizing about.   Whatever the reason, it's time to get serious about a workout and nutrition plan of some sort because you don't have much time.  

There is one other problem.   Weddings are stressful endeavors.   Even if you have a Professional Planner, the bride to be is still very much involved in every aspect of the decision making process.   Where is the perfect place for the reception?   Is it available?   How many overflow guests can we accommodate?   How many of the groom's guests will we have to cut?   How can I lose his ex-girlfriend's invitation and make it look like an accident?   The last things you want to concern yourself with are how many calories you're taking in and if they are "good" calories.   And working out?   As if you didn't have enough mental stress already, now you have to add physical stress to the pre-bridal bliss itinerary.

Fear not, brides-to-be.   There are some very effective and simple ways to help you lose the extra weight without losing your minds in the process.   Diet is a stress inducing word.   The old joke is the word diet is just die with a t on it.   Back in the day, a low calorie plate at a restaurant was a lean ground beef patty, a scoop of cottage cheese, and tomato slices.   Now, the study of nutrition is a very progressive science.   You can diet for a specific type of physical activity.   Swimmers eat one way; tennis players eat another way.   You can go high protein, low carb, or high carb, medium protein, extremely low fat, and high electrolyte. You can try the popular diets.   There are the Atkins, the Hollywood, the South Beach, the Bahamian; there are calcium, potassium, and antioxidants to consider.   And then there's my personal favorite--branch form amino acids.   Confused yet?   So am I.   Let's just keep it simple, shall we?  

In order to lose weight, you must simply burn more calories than you take in. Got it?   Good.   Thanks for coming, drive safely, and don't forget to tip your waitress.   Actually, it's simple but not easy.   Burning calories means some form of semi-strenuous activity.   Keep in mind you are a bride-to-be.   Playing a sport that can cause an injury is not one of your better options.   I don't care how slim you are, limping down the aisle isn't cute.   So steer clear of mountain biking, basketball, rollerblading, or contact sports where injury is a distinct possibility.   Power walking, running, swimming, aerobics, stationary biking, jumping rope are all acceptable forms of cardiovascular exercise.

The calorie intake thing is a little complicated but can be simplified.   Your current size will determine how many calories you can take in to maintain your weight.   For example, if you weigh 140 pounds, you can probably take in 2000 to 2500 calories a day and not have to buy new clothes if you are moderately active.   If you drop your intake to 1800, you would gradually lose weight.   However, if your activity level decreases, you'd have to take in fewer calories just to maintain your current size because you aren't burning as many calories as you normally would.

Now here's where everyone makes a mistake.   You shouldn't starve yourself to lose weight.   Taking in fewer calories does not mean eating only once or twice a day.   Your body is a self-regulating machine.   If it doesn't get fed for a long period of time, it will slow its own rate of processing food.   It will adjust itself to burn calories at a much slower rate to keep itself in normal operating condition.   This results in frustration.   You know you're eating less, but you're not losing any weight.   And you're hungry and angry all the time.   This can turn you into one of those "Bridezillas."   Instead, eat small, healthy meals 4 to 6 times a day.   This will tell your body it's going to get nourishment regularly.   It will then burn calories at a faster rate because it knows it's going to get fed again soon.   The last tip is simpler still.   Don't eat a bunch of crap.   Crap can be defined as crazy fat desserts, loads of fast foods, fried foods, or calories that serve no purpose other than they are guilty pleasures.   Here is one easy-to-follow example of a typical day's nutrition:

7:30 a.m.  

Breakfast - bowl of low-sugar cereal with cup 2% milk - 200 calories

9:30 a.m.  

Snack - sliced apple, small wedge of cheese - 160 calories

12:00 noon

Lunch - turkey sandwich with lettuce, tomato, cucumber, fat-free Italian dressing, diet soda, an orange - 400 calories

2:30 p.m.

Snack - Pretzels, small juice - 180 calories

6:30 p.m.

Dinner- Lemon/herb skinless chicken breast, Baby green beans in light garlic butter, Brown rice, glass of white wine - 540 calories

Total calories for the day - 1480.   If you need a snack before bed, have a piece of fruit.   Leave the ice cream in the fridge.                              

In a nutshell, increase your physical activity and increase the number of times you eat.   Decrease your total caloric intake, and decrease your number of excuses you find for not doing what you know you're supposed to do.   Keep this as simple as possible.   Don't stress over it.   Heaven knows you've got enough stress as it is.   If you've just got to have that sinful dessert, eat it.   Enjoy it.   Just remember, it increased your total intake, so you'll have to compensate for it by exercising harder and longer on your next workout.   Burn more than you take in. It really is that simple.   Just be consistent.   You'll form good habits.   It will become part of your normal routine.   You won't even have to think about it.   You'll be free to think about how perfect your wedding day is going to be, how great you're going to look, and how much more energy you'll have for your honeymoon.   So, don't be a human solar eclipse.   Let the summer sun engulf you in its warm light as you enter the chapel.   It's a vision your guests and your future husband will never forget.

Written by Kevin Foster

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