GenArt L.A. Fashion Week Premiere: “New Garde 2006”

Presenting Three Designer Installations with Rotating Vignettes: Kit Pistol, Mandula, and Unhee

GenArt’s Access to Emerging Art rocked downtown Park Plaza on March 17, announcing L.A. Fashion Week with “New Garde 2006 . ” The three designers featured—Kit Pistol, Mandula, and Unhee—represented a spectacular eclectic range of fashion philosophies.

Kit Pistol: Kit Pistol, aka Christina Scarbo, is an FIT fashion design graduate. Her mod installation explored pieces inspired from her prior work as a lingerie technician in New Orleans burlesque. Canary yellow and theme music of Annie reinforced the intended playful tone of the fall collection, set in a school ground setting complete with slide and swing set. Navy plaids and tartans, exposed bras, panties, and knee highs were featured throughout, some with spiffy pairings of patterns and an overall preppy quality.

Mandula: Hungarian-born fashion designer Hajnalka Mandula is well known in Canada, her current home base. The Pacific Northwest atmosphere and palette of the region resonated in the collection: many of the pieces were constructed from torn fabrics and crochet that are hand-knitted and dyed with natural substances, such as tea, coffee, pumpkin seed oil, and berries.

Installations began with models entering the stage from what can only be described as an orb-pod-twig construction, illuminated from within. The outdoorsy cocoon concept completed the garments. Layered legwarmers, tights, scarves, and knits, all in the neutral palette, made me think autumn, but with the moderate beach climate of California’s coastal living, one can wear them year round.

Unhee: Suzy Yun launched Unhee as an experimental endeavor in 2005, working from her small studio. A year later she has navigated through the theatrical concept of fashion and art fusion. In what was commonly described by GenArt onlookers as “The Pirate Room,” her installation usurped the concept of a night of fashion. A strong costuming flair describes the heavy-wrap flounces, which accentuated and complemented the feminine bodice. Wrap-style pieces and shimmery puffed sleeves in a rich palette of jewel tones and delicate yet regal fabrics of satin and velvet set a romantic-at-sea vibe against the billowy movements of a mock pirate ship. Hair, makeup, set design, and overall ambience in that room made it a show to remember.

Details at www.genart.org.

Coverage by Pamela Heath

Runway Rundown: Fall 2006 Mercedes Benz Fashion Week

Runway Rundown – Fall 2006 Mercedes Benz Fashion Week

It’s impossible to make it to every show during LA Fashion Week at Smashbox. Regular attendees know that. And in “regular,” I don’t mean the celebrities that can saunter in VIP-status with seats held and fluffed down in the front row. As for regular, I mean industry folks like myself who depend on invitations and RSVP lists just as we depend on our audio recorders and lined notepads. With parking crises, valet lines, check-in waits, and schedule changes, etc., making it to every show with a decent view while noting the designer’s vision and execution is not always a cinch. But happily, I was able to sit down and soak up some of the most anticipated runway shows this season.

Designer Erik Hart of Morphine Generation created the beauty of punk rock mayhem through his own take of fashion through black hooded capes, skinny jeans, tattered vintage tees, red plaid capelets, and a show splattered with faded shades of grays and black. As frontman to post-punk, Goth group Suicide Club, Hart blurred the line between fashion and music in his first clothing line. And when it comes to rock on the runway, what was up with the solo guitarist opening the Antik Denim show? What started off as a cool onstage introduction turned into about 15 minutes of pure noise–and I wasn’t the only one who noticed it either. “Enough already!” and “Start the show!” sentiments yelled out from the crowd prior to the first model stomping ground. But the show turned out to be hot: sexy mini-skirts, fabulous signature stitching on the slouchy, extremely low pockets, tons of leather, fishnet, chains, and all other details that personified the underground movement of fashion, yet with a kid model thrown in here and there.

But there were definitely no tykes onstage at the burlesque-drivenAgent Provacateur lingerie show in the Main Tent. It was totally risqué with semi-nude models adorned with bows, garter belts, lace, and everything that’s most coveted behind closed doors. A-listers galore showed up, anticipating this season’s desirable designs: Courtney Love, Kimberly Stewart, Carmen Electra, and Christina Aguilera, just to name a few.

As for international inspirations, Sue Wong delivered an interesting production. With themed chapters by cities and countries, her ethnic designs and use of bold color were no doubt beautiful, but the snake-arm-Egyptian-like movements from the models didn’t turn over well in my book. A cute idea, but some of them were struggling with doing so and walking the runway at the same time, making it look just plain silly. But a few hours prior was the Alan Del Rosario show, an enlightening experience into the world of gypsies, flamenco fashion, and powerful women. With male models following the females down the catwalk and sensual styles in blacks, grays, whites, and reds, this Filipino designer is headed in a luxurious direction with the debut of his self-titled collection.

And as everyone has his/her favorite designers to flock to or look forward to discovering for the first time, LA Fashion Week is an awesome time to check out the scene. You can people watch, chit-chat in between shows while making new connections in the process, and breathe in a fresh season of trends, making me realize over and over again that the real show is the waiting room.

Written by Elana Pruitt

A Private Luxury: An Intimate talk with Lingerie Designer Stacey King

A Private Luxury

Lingerie designer Stacey Walker King is no stranger to the private luxury of sexy undergarments. As CEO of iCovet, a Los Angeles-based personal shopping business, this Duke graduate knows a thing or two about finding the perfect pieces for a woman to feel gorgeous. Amid her evolution as a designer of intimate apparel, King is aware that if it came down to it, most women would feel more comfortable forking over their last dollar for fabulous jeans instead of a beautiful black slip dress. Still, a little something special to lounge in or slip on and off may be the next best addition to your wardrobe. Whether lingerie has become your recipe for success behind closed doors or is worn for thyself to feel oh-so-wonderful, King’s line LaVande SWK(pronounced lah-VAHND) offers numerous vintage-inspired numbers that are designed to accentuate the female figure. In delivering the goods, King gives insight into where she’s coming from.

EVOLUTION AS A FASHION DESIGNER

I have always loved lingerie–I really have. And I find that with a lot of the clients that I personal shop for, this is the last area that they spend their money on. Shoes, no problem. Handbags, no problem. Lingerie is always an afterthought. At one point in my career, I had to travel to Paris a lot, and I just loved the way European women view lingerie. They can give little thought to the entire outfit, but their undergarments are always wonderful. They know that they are worth it. It’s almost a sacred thing: “These items are the closest to my skin, so I should take the most care in choosing them.” The way lingerie is marketed in this country is exactly the opposite. It’s more about getting items for a spouse or significant other, rather than wearing pieces that celebrate you.

LA FASHION WEEK DESIGNERS

I saw Kevan Hall, whose mastery of luxurious fabrics was a joy to watch. I was mesmerized by his collection. I did see the Agent Provocateur show and I loved the spectacle of their show; I am a fan of their line, as well. Louis Verdad and David Meister also put on great shows as well.

DRESSING FOR THYSELF

Even though these pieces are mainly hidden from view, I think we are all aware of the transformation that happens when you are dressed really well. This is the same thing that happens for me when I’m wearing wonderful undergarments. It doesn’t matter to me that other people don’t know. I know! And it’s a great little confidence boost to know that I look good in ways that other people aren’t even aware of. I look good inside and out. It’s my little secret.

INFLUENCES ON MY OWN STYLE

I pull influences from a lot of different areas. I’d have to say that my mother gave me a lot of confidence to be my own person. My grandmother taught me a lot about grace, which I still think is the most important thing a woman can ever hope to wrap herself in. From a celebrity standpoint, I’d have to say Diana Ross a la “Mahogany.”

RELATIONSHIP BETWEEN ICOVET AND LAVANDE SWK

These are definitely complementary businesses. The great thing about iCovet is that I’m able not only to introduce new items and styles to my clients, but most importantly, there’s an opportunity there to educate. I can show a woman how a little slip of silk will make a huge difference in the way she walks, and the way she carries and thinks about herself all day long.

BIGGEST CHALLENGE THUS FAR

The hardest part has been getting the fit right. The work in getting these items not only to look beautiful but also to fit perfectly has been immensely challenging. The best undergarments are the ones that disappear, not only visually, but that feel invisible as well. The other challenge for me is to stop designing! I’m constantly getting inspired by something and trying to add it to the line. At some point, you have to stop yourself and save it for the next collection. Really, really tough!

* Designs from the LaVande SWK collection are available atwww.lavande-swk.com.

Dress of a Woman: Alan Del Rosario

Dress of a Woman – Alan Del Rosario

Feminine and fierce, with the scent of flamenco spirit–ah yes, Alan Del Rosario’s fall 2006 fashion show was ultra-sexy! From the sway of the models’ hips to their face-off strut with camera flashes, his sophisticated collection has the kind of international flair that makes you want to skip out on your 8 to 5 and visit that exotic land you’ve been dreaming about. With such extravagance and dressy detail worth witnessing, Del Rosario’s fall collection is definitely not designed for the tame and timid.

Off the bat, his inspiration was alive and kicking: … The sights and sounds of Barcelona, Madrid, Mexico City, Buenos Aires, and Manila … the movement of flamenco dancers and even Spanish beauties Penelope Cruz and Selma Hayek, as well as globe-trekker Angeline Jolie, mesmerized me. This collection is infused with a fiery, tempestuous strength. And what else has worked its way into the launch of his new couture line? Gypsy style from around the world also poured through his use of “bold, ornate, modern yet ancient textures,” while hoping to maintain a level of “American sensitivity.”

I sat front row with eagle-eyed intent, and my focus immediately gravitated toward the beauty before me: the flattering cuts and styles wonderfully designed with regard for feminine curves. Penciled skirts in a variety of fabrics puckered out from the knee down, and form-fitting silk pieces actually created a svelte look, nothing close to frumpy or cumbersome. And with peek-a-boo midriffs showing forth here and there above classy high-waisted skirts, it was hard not to imagine slipping these unique designs on and walking along with the best of them.

With excitement in the air, the debut of “Alan Del Rosario” follows the recent development of “Del Rosario,” his contemporary line of women’s clothing that lost its place a few years back due to a financial blow. Now with a clearer understanding of the American market, Del Rosario is fired up, in high demand, and full of determination.

“It’s about serious women too,” he says. “As much as I do love to show their sensuality, I don’t want to compromise their intelligence. They have to be smart and feel sexy with no apologies.”

Sticking with the basics, Del Rosario shied away from the typical chocolate flavor of the season, yet showed off dynamic combo contrasts of grays, blacks, whites, with bloodthirsty, fiery red in the midst of it all. Through unconventional bustiers and silk gowns, oversized roses and bows, tiered floor-length skirts, black lace dresses, strikingly-high slits, and splashes of leather, Del Rosario delivered a show that made you feel gutsy just watching it. Think evening wear at its bravest–or better yet–its sultriest, in which he adorned with lace gloves, canes, sheer veils, sun umbrellas (parasols), and piercingly-pointed stiletto boots.

According to the words of Del Rosario, evening wear is “the opportunity to catch a woman at her most feminine, her most glamorous. It’s the moment she feels like a star.” And with male models reluctantly, yet promptly, following estrogen-charged steps on stage, he especially depicts his view about women in the Latin culture.

“I’d like to enhance more what women are about and try to empower them–for them to enjoy and embrace their sensuality,” says the Filipino-bred designer who once led a civil engineering career before pursuing the ever-evolving world of fashion design. “I come from a Latin culture, and these women are very, very strong. The bottom line is the woman controls the home.”

The dress of a woman is something worth exploring, and as I exited Stage One that third day of Fashion Week, I imagined a little flaunt of my own along the catwalk, twirling an umbrella in hand, covered in couture, with a gaze that could kill. Alan Del Rosario feels it, and so did I: looking sexy is all about feeling it too.

Written by Elana Pruitt

Dear Adina

Dear Adina
Advice for the Broken-hearted

Dear Adina,
I have been meeting jerk after jerk for the last 3 years, really ever since my ex-boyfriend broke it off with me. I am what most people would call attractive, and I have a really good personality and sense of humor. Why can’t I find a guy who wants to get serious? I just want to get married and start a family, plus I am being pressured from my mother because I am approaching 30. By the way, I have no baggage, I don’t have any kids, and I have a stable job. What’s wrong with me? Please help.

Shania

Dear Shania,
Oh, wow! Your story is all too relatable, not only for me but probably forevery one of my girlfriends. I’ve spent endless hours convincing them that these “jerks” weren’t worth their time. So I really had to wrack my brain to answer your question and think of why we put ourselves through all of this. Maybe it’s just that most men are jerks and we just have to weed through them until we find the diamond in the ruff. Naaaa. The good ones are out there; you just have to be ready to open yourself up to them. First of all, let me start by saying there is nothing wrong with you. Every experience you go through is meant to teach you something about yourself and make you a stronger person. I don’t know much about your last relationship, but it sounds to me like it was a doozy, which left you really hurt. So maybe dating the wrong type of guy (i.e., the guys you dub as “jerks”) was kind of a defense mechanism because you weren’t ready to get involved in a serious relationship with someone new. Maybe your heart was still on the mend. But by acknowledging this pattern and making the effort to seek help and advice, it seems like you are sick of playing the field and are ready to meet someone who will love you and treat you right. Setting your intention is the only way to achieve what you really want in life…from landing your dream job, to losing weight, to finding the right guy. So set your intention on loving yourself and finding someone who loves the you you love. He’s out there, and once you find him, you’ll look back and laugh about all the silly guys you dated in the past.

Hopelessly hopeful,
Adina

Dear Adina,
I have been doing the online dating thing and hooked up with a really nice guy who has everything I want. He even owns his own home. Here’s my problem: I totally lied on my dating application. I lied about my age, my hobbies. I lied about liking Monday night football. I didn’t reveal the fact that I was married before. We’ve been going out for a month now, and I am terrified of being found out. I think I’m falling in love with this guy, but I’m having an attack of conscience. If I tell him the truth, I’m afraid he’s not going to like the real me. I don’t know if I can keep up this charade for much longer, but I am terrified of losing him. What should I do?

Lying in Wait,
La Tonja

Dear Lying in Wait,
Come clean. That’s all there is to it. But do it in a delicate fashion, of course. The thing about online dating is that it always starts out based on a fantasy–on the way you perceive yourself, or on the way you want to be perceived. And that’s why you don’t marry a person based on their online profile (unless we’re talking about mail order brides, but that’s a whole other advice column). So here’s where dating comes in…you go out, converse, get to know each other in person, and see if you’re compatible with each other. The two of you have dated for a month and have developed some pretty strong feelings for each other. It seems to me that you are compatible. And that’s not because of something you wrote on your online profile; it’s because of who you are. I’m not condoning lying about your age or your interests and I think you’re much better off telling him the truth and getting it off your chest. Honesty is a very important component of all lasting relationships. But I have a feeling that your confession isn’t going to make him run. He might even have a few confessions of his own! And hey, who’s to say that you can’t grow to love Monday night football??

Truth be told,
Adina

Dear Adina ,
I am not gay! I keep hearing rumors about me from people that I am gay. I am a male in my early 20s and I am very shy. I have a lot of guy friends, and I have never had a girl friend. It’s not that I don’t like women. Quite the contrary, I like them too much. I get extremely nervous when I am around someone I am attracted to. My palms get sweaty, I stutter, and I lose my train of thought. I am really thin, and not athletic at all. I love to go to the theater, and yes, I do watch Will and Grace , but that doesn’t make me gay. I am so tired of having to try to prove to people that I am straight. How can I get these rumors to stop about me? I am afraid that my friends are starting to believe them.

Justin

Dear Will…er…I mean Justin,
Don’t you love how society tries to put people into boxes? If you’re a straight man, you should look and behave a certain way; and if you’re gay, you have to look and behave like something else. UGH! Who made these rules, and who says you have to follow them?! I say, dance to the beat of your own drum, relish in the joys of the theater, and be who you are best–YOURSELF! Your true friends will not listen to or believe these silly rumors. But in the meantime, try to address your shyness and approach a girl or two. Even ask one out. I know it might be hard and scary, but it’s worth it. It will help you overcome your shyness and give you that confidence boost that you need. And remember, lucky is the lady who gets to know all of your wonderful qualities and have you by her side.

Go get ’em tiger!
Adina

The Beauty Agenda

The Beauty Agenda
by Patricia Lee

Q: What is the difference between sunscreen and sunblock? Though I would like protection from the sun, I’d still like to be able to achieve a tan this summer.

A: Ah summer! As we shake off sheaths of clothing in favor of showing some skin, the summer sun can scorch, especially if one opts to head out sans sun protection. The outer layer of one’s skin is comprised of dead cells on the surface and live cells right beneath, which repeatedly replenish the surface of one’s skin with dead cells. Overexposure to ultra violet radiation from the sun deeply damages or destroys live cells, producing painful pomegranate-toned skin, increasing the chances of skin cancer, and promoting premature aging. Naturally, the most prudent protection from the negative effects of sun damage would be to stay out of the sun or completely cover oneself from head to toe, but that ultimately defeats the purpose of truly enjoying the wonderfully warm weather. Your other option? Before hitting the beach, partaking in some outdoor activity, or even people watching curbside with friends over some refreshing mojitos, suit up with some sun protection, such as sunscreen or sunblock, both of which work to protect one from the skin roasting, radiation-laden rays. The form of protection one seeks determines one’s choice between a sunscreen and sunblock. Sunscreen, a chemical block, can be absorbed into one’s skin. Once applied, it absorbs radiation and limits the amount of UVA and UVB rays penetrating one’s skin. Sunblock, a physical block, lies on the surface of one’s skin rather than being absorbed. Based on its composition, it defends by its ability to either absorb or reflect rays away from one’s epidermis.

Savvy SPF selection serves as a key factor in sun protection. SPF, sun protection factor, refers to the amount of protection one obtains in minutes with a particular protection level compared to unprotected skin. For instance, if an individual who burns after 30 minutes of unprotected exposure to the sun applied sunscreen with an SPF of 30, he/she could stay out soaking some sun for 900 minutes. However, throwing in such factors as activity type, temperature, time of day, and the inevitability of perspiration, it may prove prudent to either pick a water-resistant or waterproof product, select a stronger than usual SPF, or routinely reapply one’s selected sun protection. If you fall under fair-toned and your goal is gaining a golden hue, you may wish to select an SPF 30 sunscreen or sunblock. Regardless, reapplication remains relevant in one’s routine. Armed with sun protection, what are you waiting for? Get out there and make the most of your days in the sexy summer sun!

Q: With all the leg baring dresses and skirts this summer, how do I get my legs in tip top shape?

A: As the warm rays of the sexy summer sun shower us, those committed to sculpting sexy bods and those just blessed with good genes welcome the opportunity to strip down into summer’s array of skirts and dresses. For others not as fortunate that fancy following suit, get your gams in shape with some thigh tightening and trimming squats and lunges. Before you begin this butt kicking, yet beloved routine, it’s crucial and common sense to stretch. To stretch your butt and thigh muscles, begin by sitting on the ground. Leaning back for a bit of balance, sit up with your left leg bent and left foot on the ground. Bending your right leg, lift your leg, placing your ankle on the top of your left thigh right below the knee. Keeping this perhaps puzzling position, roll back so that you’re lying on the ground. Place your hands on the back of your left thigh and pull your thigh towards yourself. Scrupulously stay in this position as you pull. You’ll begin to feel your right buttock and thigh stretch/burn. Hold the position for at least five seconds before switching over to stretch the left side. Stretch and hold the position a few times before beginning and after each repetition of squats or lunges, which may possibly help in staving off some stretch marks.

With two ten to fifteen pound weights, stand shoulder width apart, resting a weight on each shoulder yet remaining parallel to the ground. Inhale as you bend your knees until your behind is parallel to the ground, carefully keeping your back straight. Be sure not to bend your back, putting possibly painful pressure on your knees. Exhale as you carefully concentrate on contracting your glutes and standing in an upright position. Begin with two sets of ten before working your way to more reps or heavier weights.

For lunges, start your stance in an upright position with weights at your side. As you extend your right foot forward, bend your lower leg towards the ground until your thigh is parallel to the ground. As you begin to stand upright, extend the left leg as if you’re taking a stroll, bending your right leg towards the ground, until your left thigh is parallel to the ground. Remember to inhale as you bend downward and to exhale as you begin to stand upright. Try for two sets of twelve steps for starters.

Post physical priming, work on boosting your body’s outer appearance. After efficiently exfoliating your legs and thighs, maintain the moisturizing mantra. Meticulously massage moisturizer in oil, cream, or lotion form all over legs and thighs daily. On days you seek to show off, opt for leg boosting balms, such as Neutrogena’s Body Oil Sesame Formula, which saturates legs with sesame oil to silken and smooth legs, leaving a superior sexy sheen. For nighttime naughtiness, boost your babe factor by adding some sparkle to your skin with enhancing lotions, such as Nivea’s Silky Shimmer Lotion or Scott Barnes’ Body Bling, which imparts a bit of pigment and/or shimmer to help fake a flawless look and to bolster your legs onto center stage. With such jaw-dropping gams, you’re ready for one sensational summer.

Tried & Tested

No season screams skin like summer. As balmy weather beckons, scads shed the caked on, concealing look of heavy makeup in support of allowing the natural luminosity of one’s skin to shine through. As sun lovers and worshipers opt for outdoor activities to soak in some summer goodness, the steamy summer calls for a fresh, hassle-free look. Pamper and prime your face using a heavenly hydrating lotion laden with antioxidants and botanicals, which work to fight fine lines and improve the overall appearance and texture of your face. We love Dr. Jessica Wu Cosmeceuticals Dew Cream , which fuses Eastern beauty principles and tradition with Western science. Exceptionally light and luxurious, this extraordinary emulsion spoils your skin, as it slips on like silk sans the slick, slippery feel. Soaking in the soothing botanicals, skin looks and feels super soft, supple, and sprightly, as fine lines fade and dullness takes a back seat. Bright, baby-soft skin beyond compare to complete the sweet, seductive look of summer? You’ve got it covered.

Sizzlin’ Summer

Sweet yet seductive, cute yet coquettish, demure yet bold, darling yet daring, the summer charms and captivates with coyly contrasting pieces, such as feminine, girly, vintage-inspired lace dresses cleverly crossed with daring hemlines, boyish shorts mixed with sexy peep toe platforms, bewitching bohemian top teasingly teamed up with sassy sandals, and exotic empire-waist dresses prettily paired with lower key Roman sandals. The look exudes enigmatic seductiveness.

With the potential to increase one’s sizzle factor, footwear itself acts as an indispensable accessory in and of itself.

A few of our favorites : Marc Jacobs Gladiators, Jelly Sandals, Cholé Chunky Heeled Sandals, Steven by Steve Madden Lalo

Getting Glammed

Rather than conventionally carrying off in the all too predictable pinks, peaches, sorbets, and nudey nail polishes to complement the girly dresses and tops or striking shades to complement exotic ensembles, let the bold magnetism of mix ‘n match textures, styles, lengths perfect your mani pedi this season. Throw a dash of dramatic with the feminine or a splash of subtle with the colorful. Come hither contrasts prove pretty.

A few favorites :

Chanel Le Vernis

Pulsion Cobra Ballerina Seduction

Essie

infatuation flirt China Doll

Written by Patricia Lee

Insights – Walking, Forgiveness, and Letting Go

Insights

Walking, Forgiveness, and Letting Go

A while back I found myself without a car. I still had to get where I needed to go, and I had two good legs, two good feet, and all of my toes in tact; so I thought, why not walk? Why not ride my bike? Not being used to riding a bike after all these years, I found bike riding a little of a challenge. I had a cheap bike with a hard seat, and needless to say, I found walking a lot easier on my derriere. So I chose walking as my means of transportation to work, to the store, to the park, and wherever else I wanted to go.

I expected to lose weight and tone up, and after about four weeks of walking, I did see a difference in the way I looked. There were many benefits I didn’t expect and what follows is how through walking I found greater meaning in life and a greater determination to hold on in the face of adversity.

Walking was a sort of Zen meditation for me. When my journey took more than five miles, I found myself focusing in on my breathing. I found myself concentrating on each step.

According to the Ramblers www.ramblers.org, ” Walking has been shown to improve self esteem, relieve symptoms of depression and anxiety, and improve mood. Walking, particularly in pleasant surroundings, and with other people, offers many opportunities for relaxation and social contact.”

I have had my share of trials this year, having had to move away from my adult children. I’m forty-four and they are in their late teens and early twenties. For so long I advised them and guided them. This year I finally had to realize that they have their own minds, and all I could do is love them and let them go.

It was tough to let go because I have been the matriarch and their guide and leader all these years. Unhappily, I discovered I was a little too comfortable in that role.

I became devastated when they directed their anger and frustration at me, when they blamed me for their shortcomings and their failures, when they did not acknowledge the good that I helped them achieve. I suffered a loss of self-esteem and self-confidence because, after all, I had failed my children. I became depressed, and to top it off, I lost my car.

The first day I had to walk I was happy that I was finally going to get that exercise that I needed. I only needed to walk two miles that day, but I found myself walking three, and then four. I began to find peace with every step I took. Having lost my joy, I discovered my smile. The small things became huge, like the sunset at the end of the day or the sound of a wood crane in the late afternoon.

I have lost my smile

But don’t worry.

The dandelion has it.

– The Thich Nhat Hanh collection.

Thich Nhat Hanh was a Buddhist monk who practiced during the Vietnam War and against great odds promoted peace. He stated in his collection: “If you have lost your smile and yet are still capable of seeing that a dandelion is keeping it for you, the situation is not too bad.” I found that to be true in the lovely signs that nature gave me during my many long journeys.

One thing I appreciate the most is the feeling of the sun on my skin as I walked for miles. At first I felt discomfort, but I began to love the heat and the humidity. It became a part of my daily journeys. The sun began to represent freedom to me. I had the freedom to put one step in front of the other beneath a sun that would always present itself.

It is true that Peace is in every step and a minor task like walking can be a method to find that peace. Now when I find myself beginning to stress over life’s minor annoyances, I remember and hold on to the strength I found in walking when I was without a car.

I learned to hold onto the feelings of peace as my object. I learned to treasure the small moments of tranquility I found when my endorphins kicked in after traveling a few miles. I learned to capture my newly obtained feelings of empowerment and hold on to them. I in essence regained my self-esteem.

Traveling absently over the stone and pebbles that marked my path,

I heard the sound of the traffic as I found my way home.

In that noise I discovered the space where I had lost my joy.

Joy! I have found it.

It was never out of reach.

– Lisa Trimarchi

Divorce: It’s All about Control – Author Stacey D. Phillips

Divorce – It’s All About Control
by Stacy D. Phillips

Stacey Phillips’s book is not just for couples contemplating divorce. It is beneficial for anyone in a relationship, for heeding her advice can in many cases avoid that dreaded breakup. Taking a good look at one’s interaction with his/her mate can definitely give insight into a better relationship.

This is a book “that fully explains the single most important aspect of understanding what lies beneath the surface of the marriage wars—be they legal, psychological or emotional—the ‘X’, or should I say ‘Ex’ factor: Control!”

At the heart of control the author says are the big six:

• Money/Property/Wealth

• Children

• Health (Physical and Mental)

• Loss of Love/Intimacy

• Growth (Personal and Professional)

• Fear (Physical/Emotional/Psychological)

Not only does this self-help book make for interesting, engrossing reading, but complete with worksheets, it personally involves the reader. The author addresses control as it relates to the dating relationship or marriage or divorce. She notes “…control does not have to be a problem so long as the dynamic between couples is working…if couples cam come to terms—if they can implement more quality in their relationship—control tends to take a back seat. Such couples stand a very good chance of keeping control issues under control!”

So the goal of the lessons and the hands-on assignments in the book is that anyone who is out of control, whether it is in marriage/love relationship or in the process of divorce, will be motivated to take complete control, not of others but of self. Examples of assignments come under headings such as Money/Assets/Liabilities, Children, Health, Loss of Love/Intimacy, etc.

Stacey Phillips is a certified family law specialist, who in her practice witnesses the wars between couples divorcing. She wrote this book in hopes of making a positive difference in the lives of her clients. While the book is nonfiction, and some of the characters and scenarios depicted are real, others are fictional. A sincere reading of the book can quite possibly lead to a reconciliation, or if not, a more peaceful divorce. Her advice always is “Work it out. Settle your case if you can.” This book shows the reader how. She even gives advice on choosing the right attorney should the divorce be inevitable.

Reviewed by Lee L. Peoples

Boy with an ‘i’ – Author David Montalvo

Boy with an ‘i’
by David Montalvo

A new kind of book—or at least new to me, as I have not read one like this before—is David Montalvo’s boy with an ‘i’ . It is a “partial fictional autobiography,” told with more than words. A multi-media work, there are eight tracks of art-music and an online photo-album accompanying the journal entries, emails, instant messages, and blogs that tell the moving story of David’s breakdown and recovery.

The story begins in Seattle, where David meets for the first time the young man Chasten, with whom he has been communicating on the Internet. They fall in love, are briefly happy, then break up. Unable to reconcile himself to his loss, David goes through quite an emotional breakdown. The reader follows these changes through the dramatics of the Internet and David’s journal entries. In an attempt to deal with his loss, David moves to Boston and finally, to New York, where three years later, he finally believes he has overcome his breakup with Chasten—only to have Chasten reenter his life.

In the final chapter of the book, boy with an ‘i’ , his email address, takes on a new meaning: “Boy with an Eye.” David discovers finally the true meaning and worth of his experience and is now truly on the road to recovery. The reader, too, will be moved to discover how good can come from a failed relationship. As David says, “It isn’t the idea of success or wealth or achievement that I find addicting—it’s the idea that I am now determined to climb those newer, higher mountains. … Leaving Chasten, I found, put me in a state of no-fear, sans fear, where I know that nothing I fail at will ever be as painful as our failed relationship. So I do things now. I walk! And it feels so good.”

(Reviewed by Lee L. Peoples)

Talking Chic – A Change of Season – A Change of View

Talking Chic

A Change of Season – A Change of View

When does fashion fade from our wardrobe? Should it ever? Are there points in our lives when being stylish is supposed to take a backseat to the big picture? Lately, I can’t help but wonder if my attraction to designer handbags, ornate clutches, and vintage denim will always be an intricate part of my personality….if my bulletin board will always be posted with Nordstrom’s latest eyewear must-have’s…or if my nightlife pleasure will always be about who’s wearing what and who definitely shouldn’t be wearing what.

Whereas “fashion” may be considered a learned concept – a sort of aspiration one can succeed or struggle in, I’m convinced that “style” exists deep in a person’s soul. And when one expresses his or her style through colorful cloth, textured fabrics, and decorative accessories, this sort of big-bang collision creates a beautiful statement about who a person is.

But what happens when old age kicks in and peep-hole pumps are replaced with Easy Spirits, and one’s 2-seater BMW is overridden with Sunday morning white-van pick-ups? When seasons change and aging has gone full force, it seems like the luxurious feeling of fashion will turn into practicality. Simple, boring, and nothing worth discussing.

However, the lingering questions that have drilled themselves into my brain since visiting my grandfather in an Illinois nursing home about two months ago are this: When does the importance of expressing one’s style fade? When an elderly person’s behavior rewinds to the child-like innocence of years passed, where does one’s creativity hide?

Amidst watching a 99-year-old woman barely able to hold her head up while sitting in a wheelchair but sporting long purple acrylic nails, and witnessing my granddad’s shaky hands browse through my portfolio, yet still wearing the cherished bling on his pinky finger I ever-so-fondly know him to flaunt – it hit me!

Just because a person is not adamant in proving his or herself through fashion at 80 years old like he or she may have at 20, doesn’t mean that the respect and admiration for looking good doesn’t exist. I’m learning that while style may stay with us as we age, the excessive materialism and all the stuff that accrues in our closets over the years really do become, well, “stuff.”

And (gasp!) more important things will at some point in our lives take precedent over those favorite jeans and fabulous handbags. Matters like health, happiness, and unfortunately, sadness will hold reign.

But with sorrow there’s joy, and I know that new happiness will develop with being able to pass down my own favorites one day, such as the jewelry – the tiny artifacts – that a grandmother must save for her granddaughters. As the clouds cried those days in Chicago and my thoughts cleared during our runs from hotel room to nursing home and back to hotel room, the few trips to my grandparents’ house in Park Forest gave me more of a positive outlook in growing older. As I peered at my grandmother excitedly watching my sister and I open our envelopes with gold-chained memories inside (whether her thoughts were really on that very moment or the fact that something special lifted her spirits in the midst of waiting for my grandfather to return home), her chunky turquoise necklace on top of a beautiful cream sweater gave me a rush of excitement!

I bet it’s been forever since my grandma browsed through a fashion magazine, but when style runs deep, it runs true. And I can’t wait for my own granddaughters to be patient, sit beside me, and adore their cool G-ma.

Written by Elana Pruitt