Sisyphus thought he would cheat death and squeal on Zeus when he committed adultery. He was doomed to spend an eternity in the Underworld pushing a boulder up a hill only to roll back down just before it reaches the top.
Tantalus tried to trick the gods by offering up his son Pelops as a main course. The gods were not fooled and Tantalus was punished by being placed in an underworld pool with food and drink placed just out of his reach. He would remain forever hungry and thirsty.
Sometimes I have found myself in patterns that are active demonstrations of the private hells of both Sisyphus and Tantalus, and I’ve wondered how I can break the cycle.
I have many jobs in life, but like many who long to spend their days doing what they love, I have to spend a fair amount of time earning a living at what may seem to some very unfulfilling work. I am a salesperson. I set appointments at least 8 hours a day, and when I get off at 5 p.m., I go to school to engage in what truly fulfills me, or at least this is what I thought until a few days ago.
I realized the repetitive task of meeting a quota day in and day out in itself can be my own personal meditation, as is making a long journey alone, I can find solitude and therefore, peace in the task itself.
What made me reach this point? I had an altercation with a fellow employee and suffered much angst for several days. I was breaking the pattern by asserting my voice. By asserting my voice I had to accept the battle that resulted.
I do not like confrontation; in fact, I avoid it. I had to take a long, hard look at what I was doing, and to my surprise, I discovered that I enjoy what I do.
The Taoist believes the only constant is change and even the most repetitive tasks vary if only within narrow limits. To contemplate and investigate the various sequences of change will engender tranquility that arises when loss, decay, and death are recognized as being no less essential to the whole than gain, growth, and life. Investigation permits one to see within certain limits that which will be inevitable.
I discovered what is inevitable about my job is that I will change, no matter how hard I resist. So I am thankful for the small volcanoes that erupt in the sea of repetition.
I understand that certain events are inevitable, and this brings me tranquility. I am a part of a cycle of change even when I am performing a mundane task.
What is mundane about my job is the constant dialing. I find the constant decline very mundane. When I become observant and aware even in the mundane, I find opportunity; and in this opportunity I find growth. I have become an investigator of sorts. I have discovered the minute detail in the repetitive pattern of the leaf. One leaf is very much like any other leaf, and one person telling me “no” is very much like another person telling me “no.” However, if you look very closely at two leaves that are side by side, you will see subtle differences. This demonstrates that each leaf is unique. I have discovered that each encounter, even though the outcome is no, is unique. In that discovery I have found personal fulfillment.
I remember driving home one day from a hard day at work. I was challenged just to work 8 hours. Up until then I was unaware that I had changed to accept the conditions of my work. I was simply putting my time in.
I drove with the music turned off and found my mind wandering as it does here and there. I happened on a moment of joy at work when I was engaging in the verbal exercise of overcoming an objection. I discovered I was more excited by the act than the outcome. At that moment I had to admit that I enjoy my work.
What I have gained by rolling that boulder up the hill or reaching for that pear just out of reach is strength and the ability to cope in the face of uncertainty.
Will I make quota? Will I be able to overcome the objection? Will my client be satisfied with my efforts? This represents change. I am not performing the mundane; I am taking part in the sales cycle, a dynamic process.
I have felt that I am walking along a cloud and the only thing keeping me afloat is the belief that I am on solid ground. This very attitude lends me some stability in a life that is often fraught with uncertainty, and that is what keeps me going.
